What a week.
I know there is a lot of you wondering wtf is going on lately. Those of you who follow me on Facebook are probably aware that something has gone seriously awry in my life, and that most of my statuses seem like whiny pity fests.
Well, they are. Sorry, but it is what it is. I have been married for almost 18 years to my husband, have known him for twenty years. Like all married couples we have had our ups and downs, our arguments and our really hard times. However, something happened this past week that tore our relationship apart....rather, it tore me apart from it.
To make this a shorter story, I ask that you refer to the very FIRST post I made on this blog back in January. It's a short one, but important to this story. Here is a link to it http://shansief.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2013-01-26T07:42:00-08:00&max-results=7&start=7&by-date=false
At the very end of that post, there is a line that reads "Oh, and for the record, my husband wants nothing to do with someone who treats his wife like shit, and that came straight from his mouth..."
Apparently I was wrong.
Last week we were at the store, and I noticed my husband wasn't beside me so I walked up the aisle to see if I could see him. I look over into the next aisle and there he is, hugging the very woman who had wrote me such a hateful email...that I talked about in that first blog. He's smiling and laughing with her, and then he sees me and walks up to me...as he nears me he points at me, smiles and says "Don't you say one word!!" She looks over at me and smirks. I promptly dumped my purchases at the register and walked out to my truck. He pays for the merchandise, gets in the truck. I am so upset and hurt that he would have anything to do with someone that was so awful to me (mind you, we have talked about this person before and he was WELL AWARE of how I felt), that I am bawling and I flat out tell him he's a piece of shit for doing that to me.
He gets mad at me because I hurt his feelings by telling him he's a piece of shit.
He then goes on to be shocked because he can't figure out what he did wrong.
He has made is perfectly clear now where I stand in his life, and what he thinks of me, by doing that. He has done a lot of shit in the past 18 years, but that was probably the most hurtful, embarrassing, mortifying thing yet. It's not something you can fix, and you definitely can't believe a sorry that comes after "It's not my fault, she approached me and I was shocked", "She came up to me, I didn't even see her till she was there" and that one was followed minutes later by "I saw her walk in the doors of the store", ...then denying he said hald this stuff.
So as of right now our relationship is up in the air until I decide whether I can get past this, or if I want to separate for awhile or if I just want to divorce.
I really think he did this on purpose though, I have felt for years that he has wanted out but doesn't want to look like the "bad guy" to people...much easier to make me want to leave and put me in that position. Especially since he hasn't done a damn thing to show me that he wants me to stay, even though he knows I am about to walk out the door.
So that's the story. Sucks to be me right now.
Peace,
Shannon
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